Secondhand Effects
Many people believe that college drinking is a “rite” of passage. However, students who abstain or are light to moderate drinkers frequently suffer from the behavior of other students who drink heavily. The secondary effects range in nature from small annoyances that interfere with one’s studies to criminal behavior and sometimes serious acts of violence. Please keep in mind the following “rights” of passage.
- To sleep without being interrupted by someone who is intoxicated
- Not to have your property damaged by someone who is intoxicated
- Never to experience sexual assault or “acquaintance” rape
- To study in an environment free of interruptions by intoxicated individuals
- Not to be insulted by someone who is intoxicated
- Never to experience unwanted sexual advances from an intoxicated individual
Not only do heavy drinkers negatively affect their own health and academic potential but also the physical, mental, and emotional well being of their peers.
If any of the above become an issue for you, first speak to the individual you are concerned with. If the issues continue, speak with your RA or Rector for assistance. Below are outlined some other guidelines.
How to Address the Secondhand Effects or Someone You are Concerned About
Helping a friend with an alcohol problem can be a time consuming process. The worry, frustration and stress you might feel are valid emotions. If these feelings begin to have a negative impact on you, you can begin to create your own support system. The same resources that are available to your friend are also available to you. You don’t have to go it alone!
Drinking problems present at many levels, from a single evening when “something bad happens” to
“something bad happening on several occasions.” If drinking gets in the way of more important issues, like health, academics, social commitments, friendships, and family, there can be cause for concern. The most obvious signs are:
- Drinking to get drunk or until passing out.
- Drinking at inappropriate times—before class, before driving, etc.
- Becoming violent, yelling, or fighting when drinking.
- Switching peer groups and finding other heavy drinkers as friends.
- Having health problems, cuts/bruises, or frequent illness.
- Experiencing blackouts or memory loss.
How Do I Help?
- First, decide to do something and don’t keep it a secret.
- Show that you care. Ask your friend “what’s going on?”
- Make sure your friend sees what you see—be specific about what you see happening to your friend.
- Be prepared for any response—your friend might become defensive, angry, or think you are over reacting. Remain calm and objective.
- Be ready to make a commitment to your friend if the response is positive. If the response is negative, be willing to try again—sometimes the more often your friend hears your concerns, the more willing your friend might be to take action.
- Set limits that you will stick to. Remember that you can care about a friendship without accepting your friend’s drinking behaviors.
- Know when to quit— Getting help is a personal choice and ultimately is up to the individual. Remember, it’s your friend’s drinking that ended the friendship, not you.
Don’t try to talk about “change” when your friend is drunk. Wait until your friend is sober.
Absolutely refuse to get in a car with your friend if he/she has been drinking.
Do not spend time with your friend when she/he is drunk.
Do not make excuses for your friend.
Talk with your rector. He/she is trained to help in these situations.
Make an appointment with the Office of Alcohol and Drug Education—the office can help you make a plan, or you can make an appointment with the University Counseling Center.